A Nightmare For Christmas

Hello! I'm fond of vintage Christmas craft magazines, so when I spot them at secondhand sources, I scoop them up if the price is right. Thus, this magazine came home with me from an estate sale over the summer:

The 1962 issue of Woman's Day Best Ideas for Christmas. 

If these were, indeed, the "best ideas for Christmas" that year, then I'm grateful I was a mere toddler at the time and thus too young to do this kind of crafting. Many of the results look like a house of horrors in December! A nightmare for Christmas? No thanks, but I feel compelled anyway to show off these creepy craft projects. 

Above, a "Santa Gift Pail". Now, it may seem like a nice idea to stash some goodies in a dressed-up container, but those construction paper eyes look just plain weird to me. Not crazy about the use of crumpled-up foil for the beard and hat either. By the way, the pail is  a paper paint bucket. Not sure what that item even is. 

A "Paper Strip Santa" is seen here. I suppose this isn't horrible, but again, the face looks weird. The eyes and nose are small Christmas ornaments, with foil cutouts around the eyes. 

But as weird as those eyes look, the collection of figures here seems even worse:

These are "Choir Boys for Buffet Table". Styrofoam balls form the heads of these, the better to attach faces out of paper cutouts and map pins. Mostly-bare styrofoam is a no-no in my book; it just looks plain cheap to me.

A close-up:

Ugh, I think that one in the middle will give me nightmares unless I move along real quick now.

And so I will, only to show off this next:

This Nativity set is made from...various breadstuffs. Now, I remember bread crafts in which a dough was made and tastefully formed into a wreath or other holiday shape. After baking and cooling, the bread was shellacked for reuse in years to come. 

Not so with this Nativity: we are told "Be sure to use very fresh bread". So yeah, you may start out with that, but how long will cut-up breads stay that way? And unless you're sure that your house is absolutely mice- and/or bug-proof, I sure wouldn't want to leave anything edible like this out. Perhaps the folks at this magazine only meant for this Nativity set to be left out a short while, but they don't say that anywhere in the directions. 

Besides, it rather seems like a waste of the "...variety of loaves, rolls, crackers, (English) muffins and bread sticks" one selects for the project, along with map pins, glass headed pins, beads, corsage pins, cafe curtain rings, brass washers, pipe cleaners and felt. The pipe cleaners are used to form shepherds' crooks. "Attach the crooks...with a stapler", we are informed. Well, what do you know, I learned something new! I never would have thought I could use a stapler on a chunk of bread! 

This "Pony-Tail Angel" is a fantasy in styrofoam, or at least the crafters at Woman's Day seemed to think. Both body and head are made of this material. At least the body is covered with pink gift wrap paper, but the head is not. Paper facial features and gold upholstery fringe are pinned to that styrofoam ball, leaving the majority of the styrofoam exposed. Besides the recurring nightmare of mostly-bare styrofoam, the eyes of this angel look bizarre (and the figure isn't well-photographed to boot.

I'm old enough to remember when circus clowns were merely considered funny and happy, but my daughter informs me they're definitely looked upon as sinister now. But even if that weren't the case,  this "Bottle Clown" would give me the creeps rather than the warm fuzzies. 

Here we have yet another bare styrofoam ball for a head. Although we aren't told what the facial features are made out of, they, like the yarn hair and bottle top hat, are affixed to the ball with jeweled pins. A bottle, presumably the one belonging the the cap, makes up the body. 

There are a number of other unfortunate-looking crafts in this magazine, but I'd better not show off anymore! After all, who really wants a nightmare for Christmas?